Ave Maria

Ave Maria is the title of the second episode of Jarren's Outpost Rumble, a D&D Is For Nerds Adventure. It features Adam Carnevale as the Dungeon Master and is a continuation of Jarren's Outpost Hustle. The episode was released on 30th December, 2017. The introductory soundbite is "Sanspants radio: all the king's horsemen." spoken by Joel Zammit. The previous episode is Souleater and the following one is Father Moroni.

Events

 * 1) Leo and Periwinkle arrive at the Littlelow Estate with Father Keaton.
 * 2) Papa Littlelow arranges for the gnome refugees to go to the Littlelow Estate; in return, Periwinkle agrees for the militia to soften on the halfling families.
 * 3) Greg agrees to help the gnomes in return for their help - he will enable the gnomes to control Eaton's undead and they'll help him get his shadow.
 * 4) Greg teleports to Father Moroni and manages to get his soul back.
 * 5) Periwinkle returns to militia HQ and accepts an apology from Toltan.
 * 6) Leo and Flip Sham facilitate negotiations to transport the gnomes between Clara Norman and Papa Littlelow.
 * 7) Commander Toltan gives Periwinkle his sword, Silver Steel.
 * 8) Periwinkle grabs Lane Biddlecoff, a supposed member of the Blood Cult.
 * 9) Papa Littlelow's carriage explodes, with him inside it.  Toltan's carraige explodes, with him inside it.
 * 10) Leo saves Flip Sham from the explosion of Littlelow's carriage.
 * 11) Periwinkle takes Biddlecoff to Little Little's carriage.

Players & Their Characters

 * Jackson Baly as Greg Piss
 * Joel Zammit as Leo Shadow
 * Handsome Tom as Periwinkle O'Rourke

NPCs

 * Father Keaton
 * Littlelow halflings
 * Papa Littlelow
 * Governor Tingle Lot Bot Fot Hop Throttle
 * Weedy Elf Surgeon
 * Chained Sabers Paladin
 * Father Ralph Moroni
 * Little Little
 * Flip Sham Rock
 * Commandere Toltan
 * Lane Biddlecoff

Locations

 * Jarren's Outpost
 * The Littlelow Estate
 * Gnomish prison
 * Blood Cult lair
 * Militia HQ
 * Church of Nomes

Plot
Leo and Periwinkle arrive at the Littlelow Estate with Father Keaton. They're led to Papa Littlelow's office. He tells the party about Rosita and Father Keaton goes to treat her. They discuss their hatred of the Surefoots and the gnomes slaughtering people in the street. Periwinkle asks Papa Littlelow if they can house the hundred gnomes under protection of the Church Of Nomes, and Papa agrees under the condition that he may cash in a favour later. He tells them that the Quietknives and Surefoots are bleeding the Littlelows dry, and asks that the militia lays off interfering in Little Teaglaigh. He offers to take Leo and Father Keaton to the Church of Nomes to arrange the gnome-smuggling and gives Periwinkle the escort of Little Little to go and see Commander Toltan. On their way out, Papa Littlelow arranges for someone who knows the sewers to come with them and they all pile into carriages.

Greg is in a gnomish prison with Gary the ghost. A gnome with two guards wearing the plague masks. He introduces himself as a governor, in charge of gnomish forces, in comparison to Irky Timbers (who Greg wishes to speak to) who represents the gnomish trading company. He tells the governor that Damian Eaton is amassing an undead army and hopes that the information will win him some sort of protection or immunity. They agree that if Greg helps the gnomes take down Damian Eaton, they will help him regain his soul. He asks too that they get him his soul back from the Blood Cult, and they offer the help, but don't make guarantees. They say they'll give him a crystal which, once Damian Eaton reanimates undead, Greg will be able to activate so the gnomes can control them. The seedy elf surgeon appears. "Hello again," he says. They threaten Greg with brain surgery, but he convinces them to let him avoid it. Instead, the governor tells Greg that they know he's in league with practically every faction. He announces that the gnomes will take the city. Before the surgeon removes Greg's lips, he gets Gary the ghost to possess him and act as though the operation had been completed. They come back later and give Greg his equipment and the crystal gem the governor discussed. He is freed and teleports to the Blood Cult lair, to Father Moroni.

Father Moroni grabs Greg, and he feels his energy being sapped. His surgical wounds open up, a tooth falls out, he feels his liver failing. Greg tries to grab the locket containing his soul, but Father Moroni throws it onto the floor and shatters it. Greg teleports himself into the ceiling to try to catch his soul, managing to engulf part of it into his mouth, and tries to suck it in. He teleports himself to the top of the building and tries his hardest to manipulate the wisps of his soul into his mouth, finally, luckily, succeeding.

Little Little stays with the carriage around the corner while Periwinkle goes to the guardhouse. It's a mess, very chaotic, noticeboards with thousands of messages, paperwork, criminals. On a map, Little Teaglaigh is scribbled out. The cells are full. A hundred people are yelling at an overwhelmed Duty Sergeant. Periwinkle climbs onto a table and calls for everyone to be quiet, and silence falls. He organises people somewhat and goes up to Toltan's office. He seems deep in conversation with some lords and ladies, trying to rally support. He tells the lords and ladies to give him a moment as he gives Periwinkle a sheepish look. As they huff about leaving, Periwinkle intimidates some of them, and he notices Lane Biddlecoff, a spice merchant, among them. Commander Toltan apologises to Periwinkle. He puts Periwinkle's badge on the table, but Periwinkle tells him that he's fighting for the city, not for the militia. He gathers his sword, Silver Steel, and Periwinkle's badge, and says "walk with me". Everyone parts as they pass.

Leo facilitates Clara Norman and Papa Littlelow's negotiation. He and Flip Sham even crack a couple of jokes and get some laughs as the conversation happens.

Toltan gives Periwinkle a few updates. Periwinkle tells Toltan that he wants to tell the gnomes to leave. He agrees, and gives Periwinkle his sword. Periwinkle also tells Toltan to stop leaning on the halfling families, which he obliges. On the way out, he asks to speak with Biddlecoff, who is gestured over. Periwinkle attempts to grab him as Toltan steps into his carriage.

As Papa Littlelow, too, steps into a carriage, Flip Sham grabs Leo and gives him a kiss.

Commander Toltan's carriage explodes, as does Papa Littlelow's. Leo tackles Flip Sham to the ground to protect her. Periwinkle is blown backwards, the spice merchant Biddlecoff sails out of his grasp through a window. Both Leo's and Periwinkle's ears ring. There are bodies of guards, criminals and civilians around Periwinkle and acolytes and gnomes around Leo. They both see the charred remains of their mentors.

Flip Sham is crying, and Leo helps pull a shard of glass from her thigh. As Periwinkle chases Biddlecoff, he sees a Surefoot give him a wiry grin from the other end of an alley. Periwinkle picks up Silver Steel, which warms to his touch, and approaches the bloodied cultist. He pleads with Periwinkle, then snarls. He asks what Periwinkle wants, and he offers the cultist a deal. He breaks some of his fingers. Then some more. He carries him to Little Little's carriage, and Little Little is smoking a cigarette. The three of them climb into the carriage.

Father Keaton heals Flip Sham. Leo finds Littlelow's body, and takes a ring to give to Little Little. Leo gives it to one of the Littlelows and sends him to Little Little, and then tells Father Keaton to keep on to the gnome refugees. He gives Leo three healing potions, then Leo tries to work out where to find Papa Swiftfoot, considering the Surefoot apartment in Blood Cult territory. Leo asks the Littlelow suit to go to the Sabers and tell them to focus on the dragon. Leo pulls down his hood, assassin-style, and endeavours to hunt Surefoots.

''Will Leo ever be safe again? Find out next time...''

Quotes

 * "Grey area is my specialty." - Periwinkle O'Rourke
 * "Grease boy." - Handsome Tom
 * "Damn it, you get results." - Toltan
 * "You're a damn good cop, you would have been a better detective." - Toltan
 * "Good luck. I might be back." - Leo

Trivia

 * The parting of the Red Sea forms an episode in the biblical narrative of the Exodus.
 * The title of this episode is a reference to this song, which Jackson sings about half a second of.
 * Handsome Tom calls Saving Private Ryan "that movie with the war".