Folly of Full Plate

Folly of Full Plate is the title of the fifth episode episode of Jarren's Outpost Hustle, a D&D is for Nerds Adventure. It features Adam Carnevale as the Dungeon Master. The episode was released on 15th July, 2017. The introductory soundbite is "Sanspants radio: rizzoli and isles is a television show I'm aware of only in name and I can only assume it's about two kick-ass lady detectives but I'm willing to be proved wrong," spoken by Jackson Baly. The previous episode is Confused Chieftain and the following one is Buttons and Sweatrock.

Events

 * 1) The party struggles to swim in the water they just dived into.
 * 2) Periwinkle's and Leo's blood attract a shark.
 * 3) Leo almost dies, while Periwinkle punches it.
 * 4) Greg heals Leo, who grabs onto the shark, failing to stab it.
 * 5) Periwinkle releases the shark which he realises is trying to escape him, as does Leo.
 * 6) The three conspire to gain the weapon, and plan what to do with it.

Players & Their Characters

 * Jackson Baly as Greg Piss
 * Joel Zammit as Leo Shadow, with Meatpie the magpie
 * Handsome Tom as Periwinkle O'Rourke

NPCs

 * a shark

Locations

 * Jarren's Outpost
 * The docks

Plot
The party are in the water by the docks. Leo is the only one in control of his swimming at this point. Periwinkle is sinking in full plate armour. Leo sees him sinking and goes to help, while Greg surfaces. He realises he can't take off the armour, so Leo helps Periwinkle swim up to the surface successfully. The dragon is gone, but the gnomish flying contraption is still hovering above the burning camp. The party bleeds into the water and try to swim to shore away from the docks, and from Eaton's keep, but Leo goes under. Greg doesn't see what, but Periwinkle thinks he was pulled under... When Greg ducks under to see what got him, he finds that his leg had been caught in some seaweed, and they all resurface. A shark attacks, and bites Periwinkle. When Leo stabs it in the eye with Venom, it turns on him, and he starts to die. Periwinkle pushes off from the pier and punches the shark. Piss swims down to heal Leo but starts to sink himself. Leo grabs hold of the shark and gets pulled along, unable to muster his strength to stab it again, while the shark almost tears Periwinkle's achilles heel.

They realise that the shark was trying to escape Periwinkle, so he and Leo let go. The party recovers and continues to discuss the situation. Meanwhile, catapults further out at sea, dwarven ones, hurl balls of flames at the docks. Leo and Periwinkle return to the fact that Greg hasn't explained why he was at the docks, so he's forced to tell them about Laura, the Sabers and their deal. Leo suggests the Sabers and Littlelow defeat the Quietknives with the weapon and leave it with the Sabers, to which Periwinkle responds: "your plan is dumb and you will die regardless of what the plan is." Greg laughs. Leo is desperate, Periwinkle is trustworthy but difficult to move, and Greg is more easy to move - but untrustworthy. Periwinkle is happy to steal the weapon, to give it to the Sabers, to steal it back, to give it to Littlelow, to take it back from Littlelow - but Periwinkle wants to end up with the weapon. He promises he won't use it at all.

Periwinkle sees the blood cult tattoo on Greg's chest - an organisation his militia has been working against, and asks him how he got it. "Misspent youth" is Greg's answer.

''Will Periwinkle buy this outrageous lie? Find out next time...''

Quotes

 * "Can half-orcs float?" - Handsome Tom
 * "Adam, I've had enough. Take me home." - Jackson
 * "I'm gonna punch that shark so hard in its face it will shit out teeth." - Handsome Tom

Trivia

 * Upon diving into the water, Periwinkle incurred a penalty of -12 to his swimming checks.
 * A megalodon is only 18 metres long: smaller than any village, but much bigger than a killer whale, which it could easily kill.
 * Adam realises that Periwinkle has the Handle Animal skill, which meant that the shark should have been trying to escape a round before it did.