Buttons and Sweatrock

Buttons and Sweatrock is the title of the sixth episode episode of Jarren's Outpost Hustle, a D&D is for Nerds Adventure. It features Adam Carnevale as the Dungeon Master. The episode was released on 18th July, 2017. The introductory soundbite is "Sanspants radio: pro-monarchy," spoken by Adam Carnevale. The previous episode is Folly of Full Plate and the following one is Coffees to Go.

Events

 * 1) The party discusses how to go about getting the weapon from Eaton.
 * 2) Periwinkle invites Greg and Leo into his home.
 * 3) After dinner, Buttons & Sweatrock throw a tantrum.
 * 4) Graggia gives the party some herbal healing. Leo goes home, and Greg sleeps on the couch.
 * 5) Leo has cold spaghetti and warm beer in his crappy apartment.
 * 6) Greg makes the O'Rourkes breakfast.
 * 7) Leo writes a note for Flip Sham and finds one for himself.
 * 8) The three meet in the market to plan their next move, and notice Father Moroni spying on them.

Players & Their Characters

 * Jackson Baly as Greg Piss
 * Joel Zammit as Leo Shadow, with Meatpie the magpie
 * Handsome Tom as Periwinkle O'Rourke

NPCs

 * Captain Seymour Toltan (mentioned)
 * Graggia
 * Buttons and Sweatrock
 * Papi and Nok Nok
 * Flip Sham (mentioned)
 * Little Little
 * Father Ralph Moroni

Locations

 * Jarren's Outpost
 * O'Rourke Household
 * Leo's shitty apartment
 * A marketplace
 * Captain Seymour Toltan's place, the militia base of operations
 * The Littlelow Restaurant

Plot
Periwinkle can tell that Greg's blood cult tattoo is fresh. Leo asks Meatpie to inform about the dwarves' activity at the orc encampment, and he's told they're still engaged in combat with the gnomes and the orcs. Greg suggests to the party that they attempt to curry the support of the militia and the Littlelow family, and the party decides it's worth trying. Eaton has retreated into his keep with his personal guard (one not associated with the militia) and the party must plot to get the weapon from it, and from Eaton, his guards and his dragon. Periwinkle thinks he can procure ten members from his militia, maybe more. Greg wonders aloud that if the gnomes and dwarves are aware of the weapon's possessor, the chaos they'd cause at the keep might assist the three in retrieving it - and that all they'd need is a way out.

They are encouraged to consider that the dwarves and gnomes would wish to consolidate and regroup before attacking Eaton's keep, and therefore decide to take their time. Periwinkle invites the two to his house for dinner under the proviso that they claim to have met one another at the pub, they got in a fight, and that Periwinkle saved them, "The end.". They head to Periwinkle's place, each not entirely satisfied with the comrades they have garnered, but grateful to know they have friends at all, keeping in mind the great powers opposed to them.

When they arrive, the table has been set already, but Graggia did not know to expect two extra guests. They eat gulgoshik and Periwinkle introduces the other two to Buttons and Sweatrock, his daughters. When he asks them to go to bed, they kick up a fuss; one of them tosses the remains of her food and has the half-orcish equivalent of a tantrum - throwing cutlery at people. Greg awkwardly inquires about the bathroom, to which Periwinkle bearishly responds, "don't have one." Of course, there is an outhouse which Greg escapes to while Graggia calms down the children. Periwinkle says goodnight to Papi and Knock Knock, who go home, and lets Greg and Leo sleep on the couch; but Leo insists on going home, frightened of the orcs and their house (namely its painting). Graggia goes out the back to slaughter a pig for breakfast, and while she's out Periwinkle proposes a plan for the morning.

Before they go to bed, Graggia treats Periwinkle and Greg with some homemade medicinal remedies. When they go to bed, Greg can hear Periwinkle and Graggia arguing. Periwinkle reckons Greg is homeless, and that's his justification for letting him sleep on the couch. Leo returns to his dingy apartment in Little Teaglaigh with some of Graggia's medicine; his gnome girlfriend is not home. He has some cold spaghetti and a room-temperature beer.

In the morning, Leo leaves a note for his girlfriend, Flip:

"Dear Flip Sham Rock, if you're reading this, I guess you're alive. working things out. see you soon. x - L"

Leo goes to put the note somewhere, and sees one already there.

"Leo, I didn't want to wake you. There's some food in the kitchen."

Leo heads to his restaurant to tell Little Little he's taking the day off. Little Little inquires suspiciously about Leo's injuries, asks where he was the previous night. Leo tells him he's doing something for Papa Littlelow, that he's "working on it," and is given the eye as he leaves with tacky wood-elven mugs filled with coffee, and a pasty.

Greg makes coffee for the O'Rourkes. Periwinkle gets a kiss on the cheek from Graggia, then he looks in the mirror to psych himself up. Graggia and Periwinkle accept Greg's coffee with caution and wariness. In the O'Rourke house, breakfast is cereal with bacon and milk. Before he leaves, Graggia kisses Periwinkle on the cheek and says "be good." Greg gives Buttons and Sweatrock a hunk of cheese and a chunk of meat.

The party meets in a market and organises. Periwinkle decides to head to the militia's base of operations, specifically to speak to the members Periwinkle is sure will help, then to ask the Captain for help too. He plans to tell them Eaton has a dragon, and that he needs their help. Greg plans to check in on Laura, while Leo thinks he should return to Flip Sham; as this unfolds, Periwinkle notices, behind Leo, Father Ralph Moroni. Greg starts walking towards him, and he scarpers. Before he leaves, Leo sits with his coffee, stressed, smoking.

Periwinkle chooses to speak to each of the militiamen individually and speak to the captain after.

''How far will Periwinkle's influence at the town militia go? Find out next time...''

Quotes

 * "He'll fuck your wife." - Adam, on Greg Piss fucking Graggia
 * "Did you fuck his [Littlelow's] wife?" "No, you fucked his daughter." - Leo asks Greg, Adam answers
 * "I'm a good lover." - Greg
 * "If you don't say that story, I will break your face with my hands." - Periwinkle to Greg and Leo
 * "Mrs. O'Rourke will also suffice." - Periwinkle, possessively
 * "If I wake up in the morning and stuff is stolen, I'll break both of you in half... I have nice things!" - Periwinkle
 * "I had a home-cooked meal, that's rare!" - Greg
 * "I blorp you." - Periwinkle and Graggia, to each other
 * "You got this, big guy. You got this." - Periwinkle, to himself

Trivia

 * It is said in this episode that there's a painting in the O'Rourke house made of blood and bones, of a bear crushing a halfling.
 * The restaurants in Little Teaglaigh are pastiches of typical Little Italy style, an addition inspired by Adam's Italian heritage.
 * Buttons is lactose-intolerant.
 * Adam establishes that in his world, china is called elven.