Trouble On The Homefront

Trouble On The Homefront is the title of the fourteenth episode episode of Jarren's Outpost Hustle, a D&D Is For Nerds Adventure. It features Adam Carnevale as the Dungeon Master. The episode was released on 15th August, 2017. The introductory soundbite is "Sanspants radio: does this smell off to you?" spoken by Handsome Tom. The previous episode is Locked and the following one is Little Teaglaigh.

Events

 * 1) Periwinkle and Leo try to trick their way out of surrendering the weapon to the Surefoots.
 * 2) Periwinkle uses the bee bombs on his necklace against the party's opponents, starting a fight.
 * 3) The Surefoots down Leo, Saturday and the Thursdays; Thursday R dies.
 * 4) The halflings charge, Periwinkle uses his bee gauntlets and kills several, including Cottonsocks.
 * 5) The halflings throw  a net over him and steal the weapon.
 * 6) Periwinkle chooses to save Saturday instead of going after the weapon.
 * 7) Periwinkle finds Ian unconscious outside the keep.  He tells Periwinkle that the Surefoots kidnapped Graggia and came from nowhere to get into the keep.
 * 8) The party return to militia HQ; Ian and Periwinkle go to Periwinkle's house.
 * 9) Periwinkle finds Gruk Gruk injured and his children unharmed.  Ian suggests they stay at his house.
 * 10) They go back to militia HQ, where Periwinkle updates Leo on what's happened.

Players & Their Characters

 * Jackson Baly as Greg Piss
 * Joel Zammit as Leo Shadow
 * Handsome Tom as Periwinkle O'Rourke

NPCs

 * The Surefoots in Rhodes Keep
 * Cottonsocks
 * Saturday, Thursday R, Thursday T
 * Ian
 * Gruk Gruk
 * Buttons and Sweatrock
 * Old healer at the militia headquarters

Locations

 * Jarren's Outpost
 * Rhodes Keep
 * Militia HQ
 * Periwinkle's house

Plot
Periwinkle and Leo stare down the hallway at the Surefoots, who have weapons raised at them. They threaten the party: if they don't throw the bag to the Surefoots, they'll kill them. Leo tries to trick them by throwing one of the other bags, but the Surefoots don't fall for it. When Leo tries to trick them by throwing the second bag without the weapon, the Surefoots demand everything they have: which is exactly what Periwinkle does, hurling a large bee medallion at them. An explosion of bees wound a bunch of them, killing one. In response the Surefoots fire crossbow bolts at the party, hitting Periwinkle and one of the Thursdays, downing Leo and Saturday. Periwinkle throws a medium bee medallion, killing a further five. Considering his options, he tries to take a look inside the bag at the weapon, but is unable to open it - a complicated gnomish combination lock is in his way. One of the Thursdays fire from a crossbow, killing one.

Three halflings reload their crossbows while the other ten charge in. Thursday T goes down, his neck slit. The party realise that in order to get to them, the Surefoots must have gone past Ian and killed him. Thursday R, who was helping Leo, gets hit by a crossbow bolt in the head and dies. The halflings close the distance, and two carry a hooked net. Periwinkle activates the powers in his gauntlets, killing three halflings off the bat. Periwinkle takes more damage, leaving himself on tenderhooks, but is able to kill six in total, including Cottonsocks himself.

The net is thrown over Periwinkle, its hooks tearing into him. He feels a Surefoot take the bag from him and the halflings scarper. With herculean might and characteristic rage, Periwinkle tears from the net and starts to chase the remaining Surefoots who took the weapon. After one step, he hears Saturday groan - he could die if Periwinkle doesn't give him immediate attention.

Periwinkle calls out to the escaping Surefoots. "Tell your old man, when I find him, I will eat him alive."

''"You know where we live." ''The halfling who took the weapon responds.

Periwinkle stabilises Saturday. Thursday T is saved too! Once he's done that, he crafts a makeshift stretcher and drags the downed party members to the entrance. Upon finding Ian unconscious, Periwinkle wakes him, and Ian tells him that the Surefoots came at him from all angles, there was nothing he could have done. Periwinkle forgives him. Ian tells Periwinkle that the Surefoots have Graggia. Ian continues to apologise as they carry their comrades out of the keep castle to the guard house. Leo, Saturday and Thursday T are seen to, and Periwinkle is given some ointment. In the chaos at the militia headquarters, Periwinkle learns that the assault was going well... until Eaton joined the fight, followed by his dragon. A lot of people died. The Sabers were not present. People saw the dragon attack the dwarven ships. It is not confirmed whether Colin and his team have made it. The noticeboard is plastered with "have you seen this person?" messages, including one from Laura's family, concerned about Greg. The fighting spilled out far into the city, but apparently at some point Eaton retreated. When Periwinkle tells Ian that he needs to go home to check on his family, Ian responds that he'll go with him.

The door to Periwinkle's house has been kicked in. The landing is a mess, and there's blood on the floor. As he and Ian wander around the house, they hear Gruk Gruk. She appears with a sharpened, bloody broomhandle, a halfling laying dead beside her. He embraces her, then Buttons and Sweatrock run out from behind her, whom he also hugs and kisses. He felt a warm dampness while he hugged Gruk Gruk - she's been wounded. Ian takes the young ones into another room while Periwinkle examines Gruk Gruk's injuries. Her wounds aren't fatal, but at her age they're not good. She tells Periwinkle what happened - that the Surefoots took Graggia, though she put up a fight. Gruk Gruk tried to fend them off, but all she was able to do was protect the little ones. She begins to cry; Periwinkle has never seen her cry. Ian proposes that Periwinkle's children stay at his house. They go back to Militia HQ.

Leo wakes up. It's very busy, and he doesn't recognise anyone that he knows. He tries to move, but the healer who roused him holds him down. She goes to fetch his things; as she does, Periwinkle visits Leo, not before he sends a letter to the Surefoots. Leo finds out that Periwinkle doesn't have the weapon. Periwinkle asks Leo if they could enlist the help of the Littlelows, Leo isn't sure. He's sure Papa Littlelow would be able to help in some way.

''Will Littlelow be able to help? Find out next time...''

Quotes

 * "I died doing what I loved: locking a man in a safe." - Leo
 * "Waste these fuckers!" - Cottonsocks
 * "You fucking wolverined him [Cottonsocks]." - Adam
 * "Can I carry all three of these dickheads out of here?" - Handsome Tom
 * "I hug Gruk Gruk in an orc hug which is all elbows" - Handsome Tom

Trivia

 * For an idea as to how Periwinkle killed Cottonsocks, a video containing Logan (Wolverine)'s fighting style can be found here.
 * This is the first episode which does not feature Greg Piss.