Ambush at Jones' Bluff

Ambush At Jones’ Bluff is the title of the third episode of The Search For A’Helm, a D&D is for Nerds Adventure. It features Adam Carnevale as the Dungeon Master and is fifty-nine minutes and fifty seconds long. The episode was released on the Twenty-ninth of September 2018. The introductory soundbite is “Sanspants Radio ….. uhhhh I don’t know, I imagined it was cancelled, cancelleed” spoken by Cassandra Paige. The following episode is Enter Pirrin.

Major Events

 * Osakit askes the party to leave the keep after they accuse him of being involved in the assassination attempt
 * Sir Hector casts zone of truth and Oskakit is able to tell the party he did not send the assassin but does seem to be avoiding the questions.
 * Sir Ware has a floor rented at the local tavern and the group has dinner and drinks to celebrate Tieffanys belated birthday.
 * The next morning the party heads out to Jone’s Bluff
 * While stopped for the night Sir Hector has a vision of his god who has a dire warning for him
 * Upon arriving at Jones’ Bluff they find a scene of slaughter at the centre of town, with implements orcs usually wouldn’t use.
 * While looking for tracks Sir Hector is ambushed by Gnolls and while attempted to help him Tieffany is almost killed

Players and Characters

 * Sir Jordan Grace played by Jackson Bailey
 * Sir Hector the Beautiful played by Joel Zammit
 * Tieffany Grace played by Cassandra Paige

NPCS

 * Oskakit – Minor Lord
 * Sir Richard Ware – Knight from North Candor
 * Unnamed magically affected Servant

Locations

 * Fairburn Point Keep
 * Fairburn Point Keep Main Hall
 * Fairburn Point Keep Dining Area
 * Fairburn Point Tavern
 * Road to Jones’ Bluff
 * Jones Bluff

Plot Synopsis
The episode opens with the party talking to Oskakit in front of the unconscious and tied up assassin. Oskakit wishes the assassin to be taken away, however the party disagrees. By this point they are very wary of Oskakit and believe that he is either part of the cult or at the very least up to something. Osakit of course denies any wrongdoing and attempts to uses his status as a local lord to force the party to leave. At this point however Sir Hector has had enough and casts zone of truth and confronts Osakit. The lord refuses to answer any more questions and orders the city guards to escort the party out. Just before they leave however Oskakit does deny sending the assassin while inside the zone of truth.

Now that they’ve been summarily booted out of the keep the party accepts Sir Richard Ware’s offer to stay with him at the Fairburn Tavern. Sir Ware has rented out the entire third floor of the tavern and have dinner and drinks to celebrate Tieffany’s birthday (Which was a week ago). Sir Ware gives Tieffany a fancy bottle of wine, Ser Grace presents a set of dragon dice and Sir Hector gives her a necklace with his gods on it. During the dinner they manage to convince Sir Ware to join them on their mission. The next morning the party set out on there horses joined by Sir Ware and his wagon.

On there travels to Jones Bluff Tieffany manages to figure out the puzzle box given to her by Bruce her leatherworking teacher. Inside is a single gold piece, but not of any currency that Tieffany has come across. Ser Grace however knows a little more, the script on the coin is abyssal and the coin does not come from this plane of existence. Sir Hector thinks he knows more, identifying the coin as a pressed souvenir coin from the small elvish town of Sedaya (Rolling low on knowledge checks sure can be a pain).

After stopping for the night, Sir Hector receives a vision of his god, a massive towering being. She informs Sir Hector that there is a great evil present, the veil between his plane of existence and others is thin. The evil threatens to burst the veil entirely and Sir Hector is commanded to stop it. After receiving the vision Hector stays up all night combing through the materials given to him at the Fair Burn Point Keep; specifically, to see if he recognises any names. Sir Howard Clarke’s name appears, as does Baron Daniel Smith who was the local lord, while Sir Hector recognises the names, he knows little else about them.

Fortunately included in the papers is a military after action report of what happened at Jone’s Bluff. This report corroborates the story they have been told so far, detailing how the orcs and goblins swept in to attack the town. However, it does make clear that the host is not nearly as big as it has been made out to be. The entire enemy host was made up of 500, which compared to Jone’s Bluff population of 30,000 seems small. Even when considering only 4,000 of those would have been fighting age males. The report also notes the host was extremely well organized, which is extremely rare in those kind of numbers with Orcs and Goblins. Sir Hector also realises that it is unlikely that these 500 well organised orcs are following A’Helm, after all he is sickly and orcs respect strength. If an orc was able to beat A’Helm in a fight, which considering his condition is likely, the orcs would not follow him for long.

The next day the party finally arrives at Jone’s bluff or to be more accurate what is left of Jones’ Bluff. The city has been thoroughly destroyed and there are no people in sight. The host did not leave much, and the few standing buildings left are made of stone and could not burn with the rest of it. Hitching the horses just outside the ruins the party heads into the devastated town. As they are travelling down the road coming from Fairburn point there is evidence of people fleeing the destruction everywhere, including many bodies, making the parties entrance into the town quite harrowing. When they reach the centre, they find a horrific scene, gallows and beheading blocks have been hastily constructed from parts of the houses nearby and there are even more bodies. Some have been made into piles, including the detached heads from the blocks, some even seem to have been thrown from heights onto stakes. The party is shocked but notes that this is really involved for orcs, who would usually use more straightforward methods.

After a thorough investigation however, the weapons used on the bodies were crude and poorly made, most likely of orcish manufacture. While the rest of the party discusses there finding Sir Hector wanders away from the group and stumbles upon some fresh tracks, which can not be older than a day. As he rises from inspecting the tracks, he spots a creature in the ruins of one of the buildings. The creature seems to be half man- half hyena and was stalking towards Sir Hector. Scrabbling rocks alert Sir Hector to the presence of more of the creatures and he realises he is surrounded by no less than 8 opponents. Sir Hector draws his sword and invites the creatures to attack him with a resounding “Come on, don’t make a bloody show of it”.

Four of the gnolls, take up good firing positions in the ruins and draw long bows happily answering Sir Hectors challenge by pouring arrows down upon him. The other four charge Sir Hector attempting to skewer him with their spears. Sir Hector takes some damage from the arrows but shrugs off the gnoll’s spears. In response Sir Hector casts searing smite, empowering his sword with holy power and striking out at the largest of the gnolls injuring it and setting it on fire. Tieffany notices the sounds of combat and alerts the rest of the party. While not being able to damage the gnolls with her magic she does throw them off and in response they split their attention between Hector and Tieffany. The two gnolls which split off to confront Tieffany almost kill her with a series of blinding fast attacks and feints. The episode ends with Tieffany wondering whos more likely to save her, Vengeance her horse or her father.

Quotes
Zammit: “You dont marry a horse and a horse isn’t going to take the last name of another horse”

Cass: “They clop three times for I do”

Jackson: “Clop clop clop, its beautiful”

Cass as Tieffany: “Dad, in your noble travels have you come across this coin before.

Jackson as Ser Grace: “Not this coin specifically.”

Cass as Tieffany: “Dad, dad was that a dad joke, Oh my god”

Jackson: “Don’t throw a pen at my precious head”

Adam: “Anything beautiful can be corrupted”

Cass in a concerned voice: “Ohhhhhh”

Jackson: “Ohh No”

Zammit: “Then vengeance will leave you just like your father did”

Adam: “Oh am I gonna try and kill that horse, maybe”

Jackson:” Im still here, I’m being a fine dad”

Cass terrified and with an eye twitching: “Uhhhhhhhhhhh”

Jackson: “Melody stop eating your own asshole”

Trivia

 * According to Jackson, Adam naming Sir Ware’s horse constant craving is the maddest he’s ever made him. Though Adam (and I) doubt this.