For Life, For Love, For Me

For Life, For Love, For Me is the title of the first episode of Jarren's Outpost Hustle, a D&D is for Nerds Adventure. It features Adam Carnevale as the Dungeon Master. The episode was released on 1st July, 2017. The introductory soundbite is "Sanspants radio: corpus colossus" spoken by Jackson Baly. The following episode is The Docks.

Events

 * 1) Papa Littlelow asks Leo to steal or destroy the superweapon. Papa Quietknife tells Leo to fetch it.
 * 2) Periwinkle's children don't ask him for help with their bully.
 * 3) Greg manages to get a date with a rich woman, but she won't marry him unless he converts.
 * 4) Evelyn offers Greg official entry into her religious group in return for the weapon.
 * 5) The blood cult takes hostage of Greg's soul over the weapon.
 * 6) Leo, Periwinkle and Greg meet as they simultaneously attempt to find the weapon.

Players & Their Characters

 * Jackson Baly as Greg Piss, Lowlife Human
 * Joel Zammit as Leo Shadow, Halfling Rogue Class
 * Handsome Tom as Periwinkle O'Rourke, Half-Orc

NPCs

 * Papa Littlelow
 * Papa Quietknife
 * The O'Rourke Family
 * Laura
 * Paladin Commander Evelyn Plain
 * Father Ralph Moroni and blood cultists
 * Damian Eaton
 * Graggia

Locations

 * Jarren's Outpost
 * Little Teahglaigh
 * The Littlelow restaurant
 * Jarren's Outpost sewers
 * Blood Cult lair

Plot
After being tasked with the mission from Papa Littlelow to steal or destroy the gnomish weapon that the orcs have commandiered but cannot use, Leo scurries out of the back of the restaurant for a smoke to calm his nerves. Out of nowhere he is grabbed by two thugs and is thrown into the back of a carriage. Another halfling holds a knife at his throat as he realises he is sat with Papa Quietknife. Papa Quietknife threatens Leo, to force Leo to steal the gnomish weapon for the Quietknives. After explaining this, Leo is pushed out of the carriage outside the restaurant.

Periwinkle O'Rourke is under a lot of stress from his wife, Graggia, to do something about the gnomish weapon. Meanwhile, his daughters are being bullied and - instead of going to him for help - they go to his own mother, their grandmother. "That was very emasculating." He ponders over whether to attempt to give the superweapon to the gnomes and save the city, or to the militia, his brothers in arms, or to the church to please his wife.

Greg Piss is in a lot of debt to a lot of bad people. He decides to marry rich to solve his problems. He manages, somehow, to organise a date with her. To his annoyance, the only thing she ever wants to talk about is the militant religious group the Sabers, who follow Lady Willow. Nonetheless, the date goes well, and Greg asks Laura to marry him - but she won't, unless Greg is converted to following Lady Willow. Greg is brought before Evelyn Plain, the leader of the Sabers, and asked to get them the gnomish weapon. If he can, they will allow him to pretend he is part of the religion so that he can marry Laura and pay off his debts. Greg decides to sleep with a prostitute to celebrate. After the first drink with her he falls unconscious.

Men and women in arcane robes stand around him, chained to a table. He is the victim of a ritual, and his skin is tattoed with goatsblood. The final words of the ritual, spoken in common, are "... and bind his soul." He discerns that these are the mystic order of the holy blood. One of the cultists reveals himself to be Ralph Moroni, a local lord who asks Greg to get them the gnomish weapon - in return, the cult would give him his soul back.

After some planning, Leo, Periwinkle and Greg decide each to break into the orc-occupied docks. The three of them bump into each other right before an orcish patrol passes by.

''What words do our heroes have for each other? Find out next time...''

Quotes

 * ".Papa Littlelow’s son calls him Papa Littlelow.  What his wife calls him behind closed doors is none of your business." - Adam
 * "I do not care how it gets done, only that it is done." - Papa Littlelow
 * "Is this about the Fergusons having a better house than us?" - Periwinkle
 * "Everything's coming up Piss" - Handsome Tom

Trivia

 * The Shadow thieves guild and its pledge to kill Leo was first eluded to in the very first episode of D&D Is For Nerds.
 * Everyone in town knows Greg Piss.
 * By day, Leo works as a waiter.  By night, he bottles grease made from magic and sells it as "Littlelow Premium Olive Oil".